No doubt, life in 21SA is gonna be at least 100 times more xiong den back in AI i believe, but I gotta learn to look on the bright side of it.. Yes, I complained and keep whining bad things about it, but I think this is not going to last throughout my stay in 21SA till I ORD next year August... I must think of positive things, like I believe that I am able to get Gold, or at least Sliver for my IPPT, and perform well in my role as a GA... Everyday in camp, no matter how tough or xiong or ridiculous the training can be, I must choose to carry the joy of the Lord in my heart. It's the joy that carries the strength that I need for my daily life especially in camp.

Perhaps, my life in BMT and in 6th AOC @ AI has been pretty slack and relaxed, and now I kena posted to this 21SA, which I really (3x) have cultural shock in a very xiong way... And especially when right now I know that I am allocated to battery line, just don't know which battery, and life in there can be even more tougher as compared to HQ line, and no matter how sick and tired I am going to be, I must choose to rely more on God and less of myself, because I know and I know that all these while, I keep depending on my own strength until I am pretty drained out, and right now, I believe this is the time....

Like what my CGL shared to me yesterday during the BS with me, my quiet time has to be interesting and new, in a sense that I don't do the usual quiet time style every time, and like what she shared and what I feel about myself, I need to really start changing for the better. I realised for the past few weeks, whenever I go for service or CG or serving in Usher Ministry, the feeling that I have is much different from the past before my NS... I used to be full of passion, and being an active helper in my CG, right now it has changed a lot from bad to worst... Everytime I will ask "where is my turning point of my life?", and when will I start prospering in my life, this answer may seem to come but always never come so far until now... Until yesterday when she shared a verse with me....

The words "just as your soul prospers" stumbled me when I read that, and reflecting back, I find that it is very true why am I not prospering in my life... My soul already like quite cui, how to expect myself to prosper in all things and be in (good) health?

And everytime when I seem to forget the things that I have thought, I pray that God will lead me back to this blog and refer back to this blog entry, and always be reminded the things that God reveals or said to me through things and people around me....

Till then, I expect improvement for myself for the next few months at least....

P.S: and oh yea, I can't forget that everything that I have right now is from the grace of God, even the 2 days off for my unit, and a lot of other things....

Thinking back, comparing my BMT days and my current course in AI, I find that I got 1 common worry and mistakes which upsets me...

Remember during the schooling days, we tend to say something like "all the things we learnt all give back to teacher already"?

Well... That happens for my BMT and my current course as well. I tend to have short-term memory at times (or many times?) and the important things that I learnt, especially in my current course, I can even get blurred, confused, messed up, and even FORGET the concepts behind it. Just 2 more weeks to end of the course and the rest of my NS life will be spent in the unit that I am gonna posted to, and if I still like that by then, my unit life will be damn miserable...

Also, being an IC for my course last Thursday and Friday, though it's a new experience for me cos I haven't being an IC in a course/platoon level with funny and memorable encounters like "stand by area" incident, but still, when people asked me "how? being IC good?", my answer will still be "NO"... Imagine being "tekan" and cause inner hurts in me, tell me is it fun or not?!

Now that the burden of being an IC is lifted away, I feel slightly better and really wanna make use of this coming week to really seek God and ask for restoration and heal my inner hurts, and also to mould and change me from the inside out for the better, so that after 2 weeks time from now, when I am being posted to unit, I won't suffer that much, at least for the weak points that I mentioned above...

And my time has come for the worst this coming Friday and Saturday, but at least I am not alone or with another coursemate, cos at least got the OCT ppl and I pray that I can really come back home this coming Saturday for reunion dinner with my family for this year CNY.

Having to miss the CNY church service on Friday night is already enough for me le, and I really don't want this year to be the first year that I don't get to have reunion dinner...

Pray and trust God for better things to come and for grace to come upon me....

God bless...