5:36 PM
Feeling rather uneasy...Sigh....
Sorry ppl I have not been updating my blog for the past few weeks... Due to my busy schedule that I have... And also I actually wanted to blog about a lot of past things which I haven been blogging about, but..... After this morning's unpleasant thing happening to me, I don't think I have the mood to go and blog about all these for the time being...
Just reached National Library (my usual peaceful and quiet place to blog without parents' distractions) at about 5:30pm.. Was meeting with XY just now at City Hall at 1pm for lunch at Funan IT Mall Foodcourt.. After we finished our lunch, we sat inside there to really talk about various stuffs, from JAE to buses to church and keep rotating around.. When he told me how he is going to celebrate CNY this year differently, I was rather feeling uneasy (actually is right from the morning when the unpleasant thing happened to me..) but somehow after I expressed everything to him, I feel a bit better at least..
After that at around 4pm, he brought me in to his church at St. Andrews Cathedral which is very near Funan IT Mall and next to City Hall MRT Station to look around.. And after that got to chat with 1 of the people inside the Welcome Centre that XY knows before he made his way to Sim Lim Square to settle some stuff whereas I came to National Library to blog and then meeting Quan Han (my CG leader) later for dinner 6:30pm at City Hall and talk to him over this morning's unpleasant thing..
The unpleasant thing goes this way...
At around 10am++, I already have a bad feeling that I have to hold the joss stick and pay respect to my grandma in front of the alter, because of all the food that my mum had prepared and placing it in front of the alter.. I was rather feeling uneasy and I starting not to have the mood to do anything...
In the end, at 11am++, my parents asked me to come all the way out to the living room where my grandma's alter is and then hold the joss stick and pay respect... It's not the fact that I don't want to pay respect to my late grandma you see, it's the fact that I am already self-declared that I am a Christian and I already choose to believe in 1 and only God, who is none other than the Lord Jesus Christ.. And the thing which my parents asked me to do, it's like even if God doesn't feel uneasy, I myself personally would still feel very uneasy.. And after that I was like stoning inside my own room in front of my laptop... Then I feel the call from the God that I should listen to this particular worship song which my church has sung it before during worship.. The song title is called "So You Would Come" that is sang by Hillsongs.. (Thanks to Ben aka SBS9888Y in SGF for this song which I requested from him...)
The 1st portion of the lyrics says that:
Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
My tears just went down my cheeks when I am stoning inside my room in front of my laptop.. The reason that I cried just now, is I really want to show my love for Him, for that He loves all of us so greatly, that he gave his only Son (i.e Jesus Christ) to die on the cross for all of us, to cleanse us with His blood and bear all the sins for all of us here..
The 2nd portion of the lyrics says that:
Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come
Even if all the things that I shouldn't do like just now in the morning, even if I have done so, I believe in faith that He would not close the door for me, because of His great love for all of us here...
And the chorus says that:
Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come
And I felt the call of the God to come back to Him, although I may have broken hearts and/or lives, that He will take them all.. I believe in faith that with the power of the Word and His blood, that my current situations will improve, and in the near future for all the breakthroughs that I will experience it..
Labels: church
Victor Lim