1:13 AM
1. Why i tend to feel sad these days? What am i thinking of?Haiz.. These few days i've been looking into some of my fellow friends' blogs, and i tend to think that their life's better than me in some ways..
2 of my fellow friends i wish to talk about will be Malcolm and Rachel, both are my bus enthusiast friends..
1st one will be Malcolm.. Started to know him after i was invited to 's8' forum (should not reveal the full name of this forum) last year, but only get to see him in person just 1 or 2 weeks back, when i was outside with Jack, Malcolm and Fang Sheng to seek councilling, opinions and suggestions as with regards to the JAE application matter.. To me, Malcolm a really nice person, with good characters and loves to crap a lot and make people laugh ;) In his blog, i saw this phrase "2004 - A Roller Coaster Year gone by.. ". I was thinking whether in 2004, how he has led a good life.. I've saw his entries in 2004 also.. Thinking back of my life back in 2004, it's really a sad and miserable one for me.. Because of what? Both friends and my parents especially, and also not forgetting my secondary school life.. Whether is it really a sian one? fun one? enjoyable one? seriously, i really don't know how to answer this question.. As for him, i can see that his poly life in 2004 and 2005's really a good one, how he enjoyed his poly life with all his good friends.. Okie.. shall not talk more about this for now, if not i can really cry with my tears coming out from my eyes when i sleep.. It's best to talk about this thing in person..
2nd one will be Rachel.. Started to know her through SGForums and in MSN, get to see her in person since somewhere last year ba.. Seriously, i really feel that i've let her down. To think back, I really don't understand why in the 1st place, i chose her as my stead, when i don't even had love feelings with her.. I felt so guilty in life that i've hurt her feelings very deeply.. Each year, i've been telling myself that i must improve myself, my character, to become more mature each day.. but it don't really seem to work.. Now i'm going to be a poly student soon le.. I really hope that this horrible history won't repeat itself in my life ever again.. And i intend to start afresh all over again.. It's aleays never too late for me to do so.. If all my senior friends who are in poly are enjoying their good days throughout their poly life, why can't i be the same as them too? In poly, we will tend to meet people from various races, various family background, and i believe that when my poly days start, i will get to know people who are taking the same courses as me [In SP i believe ;)], to know them, interact with them better, and soon, we are going to be good friends of each other.. Do group project work together, play together, suffer together, have a fun time together. etc.. I'm really looking forward to this day when i first enter into a different learning environment, where there's a chance for me to start afresh all over again..
With that, i'm signing off from here for now as it'a really quite late le.. Will update more here when i'm free.. Cya ppl..
Victor Lim